I've been thinking...

These last couple of weeks that I've been away from work has given me a lot of time to think about what I want to do with my life. Lord knows I don't want to do customer service/tech support my whole life. I've been thinking about going back to school or maybe learning some web design. Point is, I need to do something that isn't tech support. I'd spoken with Anitza about some books on web design. I haven't had much chance to actually look through any books, but I really should get on that. Problem is I can't count on myself to learn on my own. I need to be in a structured learning environment, hence my decision to go back to school. Then I ask myself: "Should I go back to school for web design or should I go back for something bigger?"

The idea of going back to school and getting a 4 year degree scares the living hell out of me. So I thought maybe I should consider schools like ITT Tech or Collins College. I don't know. It's difficult to make these decisions on my own. I like to have the input of my friends. I know what my friends back home would say, but there's only one person who knows me better than I know myself and she's dealing with her own crap right now so I haven't had much chance to talk with her at all lately.

I have a hard time doing things on my own. I don't know why that is. I even missed the Star Trek exhibit that was in town because I had no one to go with, regardless of the fact that I was so super-excited that it was even coming to town. I really should see a therapist about this. This and my issues with death. But I digress.

School.

God, the idea excites me and terrifies me at the same time. I can't afford it, I can't afford to go to work part-time since I'm barely making ends meet as it is and I don't even know what kind of financial aid I can get. I know I sure as hell can't get any loans. Is going to school even realistic? Am I overthinking this?

Probably.