I've been thinking...

These last couple of weeks that I've been away from work has given me a lot of time to think about what I want to do with my life. Lord knows I don't want to do customer service/tech support my whole life. I've been thinking about going back to school or maybe learning some web design. Point is, I need to do something that isn't tech support. I'd spoken with Anitza about some books on web design. I haven't had much chance to actually look through any books, but I really should get on that. Problem is I can't count on myself to learn on my own. I need to be in a structured learning environment, hence my decision to go back to school. Then I ask myself: "Should I go back to school for web design or should I go back for something bigger?"

The idea of going back to school and getting a 4 year degree scares the living hell out of me. So I thought maybe I should consider schools like ITT Tech or Collins College. I don't know. It's difficult to make these decisions on my own. I like to have the input of my friends. I know what my friends back home would say, but there's only one person who knows me better than I know myself and she's dealing with her own crap right now so I haven't had much chance to talk with her at all lately.

I have a hard time doing things on my own. I don't know why that is. I even missed the Star Trek exhibit that was in town because I had no one to go with, regardless of the fact that I was so super-excited that it was even coming to town. I really should see a therapist about this. This and my issues with death. But I digress.

School.

God, the idea excites me and terrifies me at the same time. I can't afford it, I can't afford to go to work part-time since I'm barely making ends meet as it is and I don't even know what kind of financial aid I can get. I know I sure as hell can't get any loans. Is going to school even realistic? Am I overthinking this?

Probably.

Let the tides turn...

Well, here we are at the end of another year. 2007 didn't exactly pan out as I'd hoped but I think it's ended on a positive note. I've made peace with Kayla and we're still great friends, I've got a new job that I really like, but knowing what I know now, I will probably stay out of management. I don't think it's my thing. I know I'll be looking for a place to live much closer than where I am now because gas is probably gonna reach another market high in '08.

So the hunt for a new girlfriend has started pretty slowly. I've been trying to catch up financially so I can't afford to really go out anywhere. Plus, the end of the year always bums me out so I've been trying to get over that. Once January is in full swing, I should be fine. I've never asked anyone out before so it'll be a new experience for me. Woo. I only have one real interest right now anyway but... its a little complicated.

Kayla and I have made a lasting peace. I've really come to terms with the fact that we're broken up. I think it was bound to happen sooner or later. We were both really unhappy. I've forgiven her for what happened as I've realized one of us was eventually going to do something we'd regret because neither of us had the nerve to just come out with it. Now we're great friends again and still rely on each other because, when it comes down to it, we're the only real family we have out here. We still go out and do things together because we enjoy each other's company. She's changed a lot, too. She's so much happier with herself now because she's on medication and she's got herself a job that she's really good at. I'm proud of her. I like to think that I had a hand in that.

The job is great. I really like my supervisor and he's really cool about the fact that, yes, I'm experienced in all this, but the tools are still new to me so he's still giving me some leeway. I'm also making sure I'm doing my best. Every time he's listened to my calls, he always pays me a compliment. I'm kinda hard on myself and just shrug it off and say something like, "I'd better know what I'm doing. I did it for three years." Not to mention that call centers have been my career of choice for the last ten years. I really like the job. I like the people I work with and the management doesn't make try to lie to you so openly as they did at my last job. If something's going to happen you're probably not going to like, they'll lay it on the line. They won't just lie to you and say it won't happen and then it does. Alltel's a good company to work for, though I did say the same about my last job when I first started there.

I need to move closer. My job and all my friends are in the city and I live in the sticks. I don't get to see them much because of that. Not to mention the fact that I drive an SUV and gas prices are just shy of an ass rape sans lube. At this juncture, I'd like to say thank god I don't live in L.A. Now THAT'S an ass raping. Heh.

I don't think I'm going to stay in Arizona for much longer. I don't know. I might move out east or something. I don't know. I do know that AZ isn't going to be a permanent residence. I've also toyed with the idea of moving back to L.A. I don't know. At this point it's all talk but maybe 2008 is where a plan will begin to form. I sure hope so.

I think I see 2008 as a good year. Remember, it's an election year. NO MORE IDIOTS ON AMERICA'S THRONE!

Quote of the Day

In a conversation I had with my buddy Chris where he was implying that my moving out to Maricopa was akin to living out in the desert itself by saying I'm going to be "squatting over a piece of dessert [sic]."

"OH! You dope. DESERT only has one "S". Here I am imagining myself squatting over a piece of pie."