2010... shit, already?

Wow, I remember when it turned 1990. I'm flabbergasted at the fact that I have now been through 3 decade turnovers. 1980s-1990s, 1990s-2000s, 2000s-2010s. I'm getting old. I think that's why I refuse to move back to LA. I turn 30 this year, and I feel like if I go back now, I'm going back with my tail tucked between my legs, going back a failure. I can't do that. I came out here to turn things around. If I go back, I'm going back having turned things around for me.

I think this is the year it's all going to start happening. I'm going to need a lot of help, though. I'm going to slip into funks and not want to do it because it's too hard. It's going to be hard. I have no doubt about it. But in the end, it's on me. I have to be the one to turn this around. But I've developed an amazing support system out here. I've made a lot of friends that I love very much, almost as much as my family back home (yes, that does include you guys in the Chusma.) I'm looking at various options, including ITT Tech and DeVry which is right down the street, apparently. I'm still going for engineering. I still hate math, but I'm adept, so I'll suck it up.

[excerpt removed and moved to my LJ, friends-locked]

As for relationships, well, I need someone supportive of me and willing to be patient with my dumb ass but I think I'm ready for something real again. I've been talking to one lovely young lady, but it's still early and right now, I'm just looking to make a new friend. Whatever happens happens. But yeah, I have my support group in my friends, but I need someone kicking my ass constantly because I need it. I need someone to remind me of the future I want for myself and that only I can attain it. I know, I know. "You should do it for yourself." Yeah, I should, but I know myself and I need a lot of support or I'm going to give up.

Anyway, everyone was doing a 2010 blog so I figured I'd follow suit. It's 2AM. Jeez, I need normal hours. This is ridiculous.