Decisions... more than one!

One of the more interesting days came this week in which two decisions I had to make were made without me really even putting much more thought than I'd realized.

By now, most of you know that I've been tormented by the AT&T and Alltel demons. Well, those demons have been slain and I've decided to take the chance at Alltel. It's going to be better for me in the long run and that's where my focus in my life is now. I don't think I'm meant for the "live in the now" mentality. I don't think looking further down the road is going to make me any less interesting. If anything, it's going to make my life more interesting because now I have a goal to shoot for and it's gonna be fun getting there. I haven't quite worked out the details, but I needed a goal. This can only end up being positive for me. This year has been teh suck and I need to start making it better.

So my second decision was one that I didn't even see coming. As we speak, Kayla is spending the weekend with her new boyfriend and I woke up the other day having realized that I'm perfectly fine with it. Now what I feel is mostly jealousy in that she found someone and I'm still single. The real trip was that I realized I'm ready for it. I'm not just looking to date because I'm still recovering from the breakup. I'm looking for something serious again. I've often considered the break up as being something that needed to happen, which is why I wasn't as distraught when it happened. I had initially believed it to be the meds, but in the end, I was just okay with it. I mean, it still hurt. It hurt like a bitch. But I think we're both better off this way. We're still trying to stay friends but I put up the disclaimer, "Leave some details out" for her. She understands, thankfully. lol

So now I have to look into what being ready for a relationship means. I've never really done the dating scene since I met Kayla when I was a basement dweller and met her online. But my friend is trying to set me up with her roommate who I used to work with. Very pretty girl and quite the opposite of Kayla. So, if nothing else, I'm a little curious to see if we'd hit it off. I dunno. I need a haircut. That much I do know.

I can't end a post on my blog without acknowledging the loss of my little Tor last weekend. It devastated me, but I'm coming to terms with it. I was expecting it to happen as most rodentia don't handle moves well and since she was the smallest of my three girls, I figured it'd be hardest on her. I'll miss her. She was our little baby so Kayla was hurt pretty hard as well. But I have plenty of memories and pictures of my little girl so I'll never forget her.